She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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