i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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