I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
