I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
