This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize