that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
50% drunk capacity currently
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
