I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
