Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
