I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
