so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
