i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
This is classic penis vs brain.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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