Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
