how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
