Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize