I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
His hands were made for my vagina.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
