You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize