butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
