let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
