I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
