Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I love you.
Bad choice
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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