the condom got lost in my hair
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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