he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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