toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
no. you can't hotbox the world.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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