She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
