After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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