also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
