gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
