Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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