we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
