Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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