I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
