I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
smell my finger.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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