i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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