I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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