I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
so much tequila, so little girl.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
