guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize