Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i would punch a child for taco bell
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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