cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize