got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
