Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
