I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
