Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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