You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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