i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
