Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize