I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
