My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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