you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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