I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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