he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
