I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
