Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
