9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
