Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
