imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
