And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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