No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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