farters have to be the big spoon...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
