Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize