I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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