I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I have already put on my inside pants.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
