You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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