i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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