the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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