I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
