Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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