youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
im holly from the hills drunk
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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