"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
