i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
