Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
